For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
