I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
