The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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