stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
