I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
