The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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