Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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