It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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