The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize