Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
