What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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