Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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