Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
