And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
