Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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