if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
