i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
