You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
