Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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