Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
