I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Who died my cat blue again?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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