You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
