Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
