How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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