Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
