Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
