Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
