Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
