Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
last night I used snow as a chaser
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
