All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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