Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize