You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
