Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
