either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
