so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
