im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
