fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
