Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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