it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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