ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
