this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
