those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
