Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
