Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize