Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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