My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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