I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can I color on your dick again?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
