Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize