She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
