my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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