O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
