every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
