All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
