I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
