Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize