I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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