I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm always down for nudity.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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