shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
worst night to have a conscience
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
