I wish I only lived at night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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