if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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