why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
