That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
