why didn't you poke me back
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
